


Starting to Heal

by Zachial



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers, kanera - Freeform, space married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6605374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zachial/pseuds/Zachial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After returning to the Ghost, Hera helps Kanan begin the process of recovering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting to Heal

Kanan’s quarters on the Ghost had never felt so dark before… so empty. It wasn’t, he had to remind himself. Just because he couldn’t see his quarters now didn’t mean they had transformed into some cold, empty cavern.  
Alright, so that didn’t exactly feel much better…  
The Jedi breathed a heavy sigh as he laid back in his bunk, listening to the deafening silence. How long had it been since Sabine had guided him to his quarters? An hour? Two minutes? Damned if he knew, but it felt like it had been ages…  
At last, Kanan sat up with an impatient groan. The silence and the darkness and the pain was too much to bear a moment longer and he felt he might go mad if he didn’t try to focus his thoughts and calm his emotions. And so Kanan meditated. With calm, even breaths, he cleared his mind of all thoughts, of the ‘what-ifs’ and the ‘what-nows’ that plagued him. For a time, it worked.  
And then the silence broke. Soft, gentle footsteps approached the door before he heard it whoosh open, and they continued into the quarters. He knew before she spoke that Hera had moved close to his bunk. “How is everyone,” he asked.  
There was a soft, sad laugh that escaped the Twi’lek before she responded. “They’re okay. Wondering how you are…”  
Kanan turned towards Hera—at least where he guessed her to be—and grinned. “Me? I’m fine! Just enjoying some peace and quiet for a change.” A lie. The Ghost had been too quiet that day, and it almost frightened Kanan.  
Whether Hera bought the lie or not, or whether his attempt at keeping a positive attitude amused or annoyed her, Kanan couldn’t tell. Karabast, how was he supposed to know her mood if he couldn’t see her trademark smiles and frowns…? Either way, Kanan felt the mattress beside him sink beneath Hera’s weight as she sat down and he turned slightly to face her.  
“I brought some fresh bandages,” Hera told him, her voice almost a whisper. “I’m just going to take these off… okay?”  
Was she afraid he’d be startled if she didn’t announce her every move? Maybe he would have… “It might not be pretty,” he warned.  
“I’ve seen worse.” Was she being serious or playful? There again was that pain of knowing he wouldn’t be able to read her expressions anymore… After a moment’s silence he felt her hands gently unwinding the bandages over his eyes. The material tugged at his flesh where blood had dried to it now and then, but he was careful not to wince. Somehow, Hera still seemed to pause each time as if she knew it hurt him.  
At last, the bandages were gone, and Kanan heard the softest of sighs from the Twi’lek. “Oh, Kanan…”  
He smiled in spite of the sudden ache in his chest. “I told you it might not be pretty…”  
“No, no!” He almost felt Hera shaking her head. “No… Kanan it’s not that. It’s just…”  
“I know…” He smiled a little more sincerely now. “I know…”  
They fell into silence again. Kanan guessed Hera was setting aside the old bandages before he felt her hands again, one palm cupping his cheek while she carefully cleaned the blood and dirt from around his eyes with a damp cloth. Were his eyes even there anymore, he wondered? He couldn’t feel them, exactly… not over the now dull ache, anyway. For all he knew Maul’s lightsaber had left nothing but burnt, empty sockets. He might have asked, but he almost feared knowing... Instead, he focused on his first question. “Really… how is everyone?”  
“They’re doing as well as can be expected…” Hera sighed. “We were talking about it… about the inquisitors, the Sith temple…” About his blindness. Kanan knew that had to have come up, even if she avoided saying so. “Poor Rex took the news about Ahsoka hard…”  
“I know…” Kanan would have to talk to Rex… tell him how bravely Ahsoka fought, right to the end… how sorry he was… “And Ezra?”  
Hera paused. Kanan could feel her body go stiff, and her breath catch in her chest for the briefest of moments. “I don’t know, Kanan…” she whispered. “He’s in his room now… he wouldn’t talk to me, to Zeb, not even Sabine…”  
“I should go try…” Ezra had been through so much, Kanan knew… between the inquisitors, Maul, Vader, everything that had happened to him and Ahsoka…  
Kanan would have tried to stand then, but he felt Hera’s hand on his shoulder, gently but firmly holding him down. “You should,” she agreed, “but not yet. Let’s take care of you, first.”  
“Yes, dear…” He tried to say it jokingly, but the humor wasn’t coming as easily to him as he would have liked. Kanan didn’t like this… he didn’t like being wounded and helpless while his friends worried, while his student needed him…  
But there was Hera. She was right by his side, like always, giving him strength when he needed it most… Even at his lowest point, somehow the Twi’lek pilot had been able to come into his life and lift him up, to remind him that there was something worth living for. She had been his strength from the moment he first heard that enchanting voice of hers…  
Thank whatever gods or forces watched over him he could still hear that voice, at least…  
At last, Hera finished cleaning the wounds and began carefully applying fresh bandages to Kanan’s face. When she was finished, he felt her rest her hands on his cheeks. “There, all done.”  
Kanan smiled again. “What would I do without you, Hera?”  
“Well for one thing you’d have to be your own nurse for a change.” There it was. He couldn’t see the smile anymore, but he could hear it in her tone, in the gentle laugh that followed her words. It made his own smile all the wider. “Now you rest, love,” Hera said gently. “I’ll be back soon with something for the pain.”  
Hera’s hands slipped from his face then, and Kanan’s skin felt all the colder for their absence. Before she could move, he reached out carefully for her shoulders and—thankfully—found them without too much trouble. “Hera, wait…” She paused, silent, and Kanan took a gentle breath.  
He wouldn’t be able to see her face anymore… he knew that. He would be alright without his sight, honestly… it would take time and healing and practice, but the Force was a wondrous thing. Kanan wouldn’t be the first blind Jedi, nor would he be any less a Jedi for it. After all, he defeated the infamous Maul without his sight, hadn’t he? But never seeing her again… that’s what really made Kanan’s heart ache.  
“Kanan…?” Hera’s voice was soft and full of concern. Kanan could just imagine her now, her brows knitting together and her lips curved into a troubled frown. His own lips grew into a gentle smile, as if to tell her not to worry, and his hands rose from her shoulders.  
Kanan’s fingers traced a path up the sides of her neck, and he could feel a soft shudder beneath Hera’s skin. But she kept still. His hands found her face soon enough, and his fingertips carefully explored each feature. Her chin, her jawline, her cheeks wet with tears—she was crying, it seemed. Kanan was surprised by that. He traced the shape of her lips carefully, then the bridge of her nose, and he heard a soft chuckle escape her.  
“What are you doing…?” she asked.  
Kanan shrugged his shoulders. “I’m looking at you… You don’t mind, do you…?”  
He felt her smile, if only just a little, and she leaned into his hand before turning to press a small kiss against his palm. “Not at all, dear… Not at all…”  
Kanan smiled again and dropped his arms around Hera’s frame. She didn’t hesitate to wrap her own arms around his midsection, hugging him as tightly as she had when he first returned to the base.  
Maybe… just maybe… things would be okay…


End file.
